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DEAR READERS, THIS ARTICLE INCLUDE THE OLD SITE'S ARTICLES ON eBay ADDICTION ISSUES, FINANCIAL RECOVERY, AND SELF HELP RESOURCES. I'LL BE WRITING MORE ABOUT ADDICTION. I ALSO REFER YOU TO MY BOOK, STEPPING OFF THE EDGE, WHICH HAS SEVERAL CHAPTERS ON MY eBay ADDICTION AND HOW I TAMED IT.
On line addiction is a new area of study. When psychologists began to see people addicted to on- line activities in their practices, other problems brought them to therapy-- work performance. Relationships. Spending. Sexual difficulties. As more patients appeared and their stories unfolded, therapists realized that the presenting symptoms pointed to a different underlying problem: On line addiction. When mental health professionals initially reported their suspicions to their peers, the psychological community let out a giant guffaw! On line addiction! What a joke! Not too many years and many personal tragedies later, the psychological community is taking notice. Dr. David N. Greenfield conducted probably the largest survey of Internet use and abuse. Analyzing the results of a survey with over 18 million respondents, Greenfield concluded that perhaps 6% of Internet users are addicted, while as many as 40% may be abusive in their use patterns. In defining addiction, Greenfield requires that, as in other addictions, a user develops tolerance, where greater exposure is necessary to achieve the same "hit", and withdrawal symptoms, such as rage and irrational behavior, when use is curtailed. (See Greenfield, in the readings below. P. 18) What do these rates of addiction mean? They mean a lot of people are getting hooked, and as the use of the Internet grows, many more will follow. What does this have to do with on-line auctions? USA Today said it perfectly, "Take the thrill of gambling, the excitement of computer games, the enjoyment of collecting, and the desire to get a good deal, and sprinkle it with a little of the old hunter-gatherer instinct. Suddenly, you've got several million people hooked on the on-line auctions" (USA Today, Mar. 10, 1999, p. 01A.) I've joked about addiction in other articles on this site, H.A.Y.-- Horse Addicts of Yesterday, in particular. Now's the time to get serious. I got more than I bargained for when I got on eBay to check out a painting put up for sale by an admired musician. I was hooked on on-line auctions in about four days. In addition to costing me money and time, my compulsive behavior scared my family. We will explore the process of getting hooked and unhooked in an upcoming article. If you suspect you have an on-line problem, or are a loved one of a person with such a problem, help is available. I got unhooked from my addiction. Reading these books was the first step.
READINGS: I began researching the topic of online addiction as I became more aware of my problem. I found these books most useful. You can click on the title and buy the book through Amazon. Our Amazon rebates go to charity. VIRTUAL ADDICTION: Help for Netheads, Cyberfreaks, and Those Who Love Them. David N. Greenfield, Ph. D Dr. Greenfield is a clinical psychologist, founder of a multidisciplinary behavioral practice in Connecticut. He is one of the pioneers in detecting and treating Internet addiction, conducting one of the largest surveys on Internet use: the ABC News.com Internet Addiction Survey. I initially read about him in a magazine article. Dr. Greenfield knows his subject inside out. He's personally aware of the online pull. He offers great information, great self help techniques. I inhaled this book. It was one of my early steps to recovery. The book is user friendly and easy to read.. CAUGHT IN THE NET: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and a Winning Strategy for Recovery. Dr. Kimberley S. Young. Like Dr. Greenfield, Dr. Young is a pioneer in detection and treatment of Internet addiction. She also authored a survey of Internet abuse, finding it analogous to gambling addiction. Like Dr. Greenfield's book, I found this book horrifying and absolutely necessary reading. I inhaled it. Dr. Young is a clinical psychologist with wide and deep experience. She is personally familiar with the pull of the Web and offers great info and a self help plan. This book has a slightly different feel than Dr. Greenfield's, coming from a different person. I recommend them both. This book is also user friendly and easy to read. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE INTERNET. Patricia Wallace. This book approaches the Internet from a different direction. Dr. Wallace is Executive Director of the Center for Knowledge and Information management a the Robert H. Smith School of Business, University of Maryland. Dr. Wallace is not so specifically interested in addiction as what happens on the Net psychologically. The Net is new territory-- we don't have research based studies on why people do what they do on line. Dr. Wallace gives a fascinating and professional look at the personal dynamics of the Web, covering a broad range of topics: Aggression: flaming and fighting-- why? Increased and rapid intimacy over the Net. Disinhibition: why people tell all and do all with On-line communities. Differences in male and female use and abuse. Pornography-- how much and how dangerous? The Web as opportunity for entrepreneurial success. The web as time waster. On line addictions. This book is a harder read than the previous two, but necessary if you want to get the full picture on the psychological impact of the Net. CAN'T BUY ME LOVE: Freedom From Compulsive Spending and Money Obsession, Sally Coleman, MA, N.C.A.C., and Nancy Hull-Mast. This is a great self help book for those with spending problems. It's not aimed specifically at on line shopping and auctions, but its content can be easily adapted to cover those areas. This book is easy to read, explains the psychological origin and development of spending problems, and gives great self help pointers. Ms. Coleman is a staff psychotherapist and coordinator of addiction services at the University of Notre Dame Counseling Center. Ms. Hull-Mast is a writer with training in addictions and counseling. I SHOP, THEREFORE I AM: Compulsive Buying & The Search For Self, April Lane Benson, Editor. This group of readings is intended for mental health professionals and those treating compulsive spending disorders. It is the hardest read presented here, and in many ways the most satisfying. This goes DEEP. Also wide, covering every aspect of compulsive spending and recovery you can think of. There's an article on collecting-- the new religion-- that should be posted on all on-line auction bulletin boards. It also should be published the major interior design magazines. It would cause a riot, of course, exposing the not too pretty psychological roots of the collecting compulsion. I was delighted to discover a chapter by a good friend of mine, Karen McCall, who does financial recovery counseling. We'll talk to Karen in the section on Financial Recovery. WHEN SOCIETY BECOMES AN ADDICT, Anne Wilson Schaef. What if you took the sum of the substance addictions, behavioral addictions (such as compulsive spending, overworking, obsession with money/success/things, sex, relationships) & the interpersonal glue that holds it all together (codependent systems, denial, the whole ball of wax)? What if you took that sum and it equaled modern society? Anne Schaef finds just that in this fascinating book combining gender models, addiction treatment theories and a broad view of addiction. Schaef presents a new way of life which is not addiction based. A New York Times Bestseller. YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE, Joe Domingues and Vicki Robin. A wonderful book that challenges the basis of contemporary society. Presents a nine step approach to reclaiming your life. Is your life about making money? Do you feel lost in the cracks? The authors gave up successful careers to gain control of their finances and live with greater meaning. This is the classic on the new morality of money management. Talks about getting out of debt and developing savings, reordering material priorities to live well with less, values based spending, and much more. Great how-to advice. A life changer and life maker. My
warmest wishes and prayers on your journey to recovery. SN Copy right 2001-2011. Sandra Nathan, All rights reserved.
FINANCIAL RECOVERY RESOURCES Dear Readers, I've been posting these articles as I finish them. Writing has taken longer than I hoped. Meanwhile, it's come to my attention that people are suffering and need these resources. I'm putting this article on Financial Recovery up now as a reading list. A full article will be posted later. Best wishes, Sandy Nathan READINGS ON FINANCIAL RECOVERY: WHEN SOCIETY BECOMES AN ADDICT, Anne Wilson Schaef. What if you took the sum of the substance addictions, behavioral addictions (such as compulsive spending, overworking, obsession with money/success/things, sex, relationships) & the interpersonal glue that holds it all together (codependent systems, denial, the whole ball of wax)? What if you took that sum and it equaled modern society? Anne Schaef finds just that in this fascinating book combining gender models, addiction treatment theories and a broad view of addiction. Schaef presents a new way of life which is not addiction based. A New York Times Bestseller. ESCAPE FROM INTIMACY, Anne Wilson Schaef. Schaef tackles the "love" addictions here: Sex, romance and relationships. Schaef talks about the difference between compulsive pursuit of sexual and romantic highs, the need to be in a relationship ( any relationship), and true intimacy. Get rid of these, and we'll lose popular music. Alas. Also most of TV and Hollywood. We'll gain our selves and real love between people. Shaef clearly defines the addictions and what we need to do to break free. YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE, Joe Domingues and Vicki Robin. A wonderful book that challenges the basis of contemporary society. Presents a nine step approach to reclaiming your life. Is your life about making money? Do you feel lost in the cracks? The authors gave up successful careers to gain control of their finances and live with greater meaning. This is the classic on the new morality of money management. Talks about getting out of debt and developing savings, reordering material priorities to live well with less, values based spending, and much more. Great how-to advice. HOW TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR TIME AND YOUR LIFE, Alan Lakein. The most popular time management book written. To save time, read pages 158, 30, and 11. I read this 20 years ago. Bought it again. It's still fantastic. Worth owning. HOW TO GET OUT OF DEBT, STAY OUT OF DEBT & LIVE PROSPEROUSLY, Jerrold Mundis, Another classic, Mundis' book is based on the principles of Debtors Anonymous. Tells how to recognize warnings of serious debt problems and head them off. How to negotiate with collection agencies, etc. How to pay off debts. How to maintain debt free status. You can do it, folks! Start here. EARN WHAT YOU DESERVE: How to Stop Underearning & Start Thriving, Jerrold Mundis. Repeats some of his first book, but tackles the topic of "underearning": Perfectly capable, smart people who earn less than they might. Fit anyone you know? Presents techniques to remedy this.
SELF HELP RESOURCES Spurs Magazine provides the following self help resources for your information. While we know many people who have been helped by such groups, we cannot be responsible for your experience with them. We have attempted to make this list as accurate as possible, but do not guarantee it's accuracy. Readers should exercise sound judgment when accessing websites or using the resources presented here.
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